Dealing with your sense of betrayal and when to let go.

No matter how hard you try, once your partner has decided to leave you, there is no turning back. In a divorce there is always one person who wants it and the other who doesn’t. You probably feel betrayed and hurt and lonely. You can’t sleep and you have tremendous fear about the future. What are you going to do? Where are you going to go? Why is it so easy for them to do this to you? All these questions continue to cause turmoil in your life and it is so easy to point the finger of blame in one direction. Your ex-partner who you feel did this to you. I have felt the same way…a deep sense of hate and anger welling up inside of me and exploding like a volcano whenever that person came into my surrounding area. It’s only natural. But what happens then? The rift only becomes deeper. The chasm only becomes wider. The wound opens again never having a chance to heal. Have you ever tried to pet a cat that didn’t want to be petted? The more you try to hold on to them the more they squirm and scratch and try to get free, it’s the same with your partner. It is so hard to let them go yet the tighter you hold on the more they struggle. The more they struggle the angrier you get and the harder you try to hold on. The vicious cycle continues. The pain and unhappiness perpetuate themselves until that is all that is left.

Every relationship comes to an end at some point in time. Whether through death or separation. The question is: are you strong enough to turn this poison into medicine? Are you able to understand that your partner feels trapped and wants to escape their own internal prison? Can you show compassion for that person and wish them luck in finding the happiness they so desperatly seek? I know it sounds impossible and seems like it would just make you suffer more but believe me this is the key to you finding your happiness. If you can let them go and sincerely wish them the best in their journey, you are on your way to truly caring about others, even those who have hurt you. When you care for others you strengthen yourself, you turn pain into power. You transform despair into hope. The darkness will become illuminated and you will become stronger.

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