What’s depression got to do with it?

Have you ever heard the story about the bird that cries all night long because it is freezing in the cold of night? It keeps crying “Tommorrow I will make a nest. I will make a nest so I won’t be so cold at night” When the dawn arrives and the sun rises the exhausted bird goes to sleep in the warmth of the sunlight. The bird sleeps all day long until the sun sets again and the bird wakes up cold in the middle of the night. The bird cries out in vain again ”Tommorrow I will make myself a nest to keep me warm” and this cycle continues over and over.

Does this sound a little like you? Do you feel sad and depressed? That is because you are “Depressing”(pushing down) certain feelings. Mabye you are crying because your partner doesn’t show you enough attention. You keep telling yourself tommorrow I will come up with something really fun for us to do so we can spend time together. But then other things get in the way: there’s that TV show and that awesome computer game, got to take care of the kids and chat on the phone and now I am so tired I just want to relax, have a glass of wine and then another and another pretty soon the day has all gone and night begins to descend and coldness of depression starts to creep into your soul and you start to cry that your partner doesn’t show you any attention. Does this sound familiar? It sounds familiar to me because I have been through it.

We have many ways to depress our feelings of unhappiness and lonliness. The easiest are alcohol and drugs others might not seem so obvious. Do you go shopping when you are depressed? That is because advertisers want you believe you will become happy if you buy their product. You have been trapped in this same cycle forever looking outside of yourself to find your joy only to be dissapointed when you find that joy is only fleeting. Have you heard the expression “Break the cycle” or “It’s a vicious cycle” You can end this cycle of negativity you have been trapped in forever. You can end it right now and change your relationships for the better moving forward from this moment in time.

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Why is this happening to me?

You may be asking yourself right now questions like “Why is this happening to me?” or “Why do my relationships always fail?” don’t worry it’s not your fault. You have been trapped in the same pattern forever, repeating the same relationship over and over again just moving between different partners. The reason is simple yet sometimes the most obvious answer is also the most hidden. You are not happy. Everything might have seemed fine on the outside as you were laughing and having fun together but ask yourself a couple of questions. When was I the happiest? Was it when I was smiling or was it when they were smiling? Most likely the answer is when they were smiling and that is because you were trying to take responsibility for their happiness. What’s wrong with that? You might ask. What’s wrong with wanting to make someone happy?
People are solely responsible for their own happiness, no one and nothing else can make them happy. When you spend all of your time trying to make someone else happy you forget about your own happiness and then you feel sad, you just don’t know why. That sadness comes from the inside and starts to claw at you. You feel unappreciated, you might find yourself saying things like “How can they treat me like this after all I have done for them!” or “I have done everything I could to make them happy and this is the thanks I get!”. You must take responsibility for your own happiness and help others take responsibility for theirs. When you are truly happy with yourself you will attract others who are happy within themselves as well. Wouldn’t everyone be much happier that way? Wouldn’t it feel great to not have to worry about making someone else happy for a change but instead help them find their own inner joy?

As always I welcome questions and comments and I will try to answer them as quickly as possible. Please tell me whether you would like me to post your question and answer online or keep it private. Thank you very much. Have courage we will get through this together, you are not alone.